Many parents choose to have children close in age, hoping to provide their older child with a built-in playmate.
However, sibling bonds aren’t solely defined by proximity in years. It's also not a guarantee that all siblings get along with one another.
Just as every relationship is unique, having a larger age gap between children can bring its own set of advantages.
The 7-Year Age Gap
We never set out to have a big age gap between our kids. In fact, after Kitty was born, we didn’t even plan on having another baby.
But life has a way of surprising us, and seven years later, we found ourselves welcoming Liam into our family.
While some parents might worry about whether their children will form a close bond when there are several years between them, I wasn’t too concerned.
I grew up as the youngest (and unplanned) child, with my eldest sister seven years ahead of me. Despite the years that separated us, she is my best friend — the person I could always turn to, no matter what.
So when Liam arrived, I felt confident that he and Kitty would share the same kind of connection that my sister and I have. And I was right.
5 Advantages of a 7-Year Age Gap between Siblings
1. Childcare Isn't as Overwhelming
One of the biggest advantages of having a seven-year gap is that our eldest is already quite independent.
- Easier childcare during the early stages – Since Kitty was already self-sufficient in many ways, balancing a newborn and an older child wasn’t as stressful as we had anticipated. Unlike parents managing two young children with similar needs, we didn’t have to juggle diaper changes while also chasing after a toddler.
- Kitty can do things on her own – By the time Liam arrived, Kitty could dress herself, do simple chores, and entertain herself when needed. She wasn’t reliant on us for every little thing, which made the transition from one to two kids much smoother.
- Established routines made a difference – Because Kitty already had structured routines in place, it was easier for us to integrate Liam into our family life without disrupting everything. She had her school schedule, bedtime habits, and responsibilities, so adding a baby to the mix didn’t throw everything into chaos.
2. Less Sibling Rivalry
Sibling rivalry is a common concern for parents, but with a larger age gap, it’s often less intense.
- More defined individual identities – Since Kitty and Liam are in different developmental stages, they aren’t constantly competing for attention, milestones, or achievements. They have the space to grow as individuals without direct comparison.
- Kitty's maturity – By the time Liam was born, Kitty was old enough to understand that a baby requires more attention. Instead of feeling jealous, she took on the role of a responsible older sister. Her patience and maturity made it easier for her to accept that sometimes, her little brother’s needs had to come first.
3. Built-In Mentorship
With a seven-year difference, the older sibling naturally takes on a mentorship role.
- More than just a playmate – While Kitty and Liam do play together, their relationship isn’t just about playtime. Because she is older, Kitty has the opportunity to set a good example for Liam. Whether it’s demonstrating kindness, patience, or responsibility, he looks up to her in ways that a younger sibling closer in age might not.
- Guidance through different life stages – As Liam grows, he’ll have an older sister who has already navigated school, friendships, and life’s challenges. Having someone to offer advice, share experiences, and provide reassurance can be invaluable.
4. Financial Advantages
Raising children is expensive, but spacing them apart can ease some of the financial burden.
- Tuition fees are more manageable – With a significant age gap, we don’t have to worry about paying for two kids in private school or college at the same time.
- More time to save for big expenses – Since Liam won’t start school for a few more years, we have extra time to plan and budget for tuition fees, extracurricular activities, and other costs.
5. More One-on-One Time for Each Child
Having more focused parenting time for each of our kids was the biggest advantage of having a larger age gap.
- Each child gets more individual attention – When Kitty was younger, she had years of undivided attention from us as our only child. Now that Liam is here, we can still give him that same level of focus during his early years while Kitty is at school or engaged in her own activities.
- Different stages, different needs – Since they’re not going through the same milestones at the same time, we can tailor our parenting approach to their specific needs without feeling overwhelmed. Kitty’s needs as a school-aged child differ from Liam’s toddler needs, and we can address them without constantly dividing our attention.
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While some might assume that a large age gap could make siblings less close, our experience has been the opposite.
Kitty and Liam share a deep bond despite the years between them. Instead of competition, they have cooperation. Instead of rivalry, there is mentorship.
A seven-year age gap may not be what we originally planned, but looking at the way our children interact, we wouldn’t have it any other way.
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